Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Don't exasperate...

A month or so ago, I was deeply disturbed by a Far Side comic that came across my desk. Now, please understand, normally I love the Far Side. I think Gary Larson is a comic genius. His bizarre take on life makes me laugh out loud more often than not, but not this day.

Let me describe what I found. This particular comic was a sequence of four panels. In the first, you see a boy looking longingly at a bike for sale in the front window of a toy store. In the next frame, the boy’s dad is standing beside him asking, “If you tell me the average annual rainfall in the Amazon basin, you can have the bike?” The boy stares blankly back. In the third frame the dad simply says, “Times up!” And in the fourth, you see the two walking away from the store.

Doesn’t that just make your blood boil? Made me so angry I could spit. No dad should treat their kids like that. If you can’t or won’t get the bike, just say so. Don’t torture your son or your daughter! This is God’s word to you. Ephesians 6:4 , “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (NIV)

Be merciful. Even when your kids mess up, be compassionate. Be kind even when they try your patience.

Why is it so important that you be merciful, compassionate, kind? Why does God command you, in no uncertain terms, not to exasperate your children? I mean, I thought it was my job as a dad to annoy my kids! Isn’t that what you thought? But no. It seems we’ve got it wrong. God says, “…do not exasperate your children…”

Why? I won’t pretend to know all of the reasons behind God’s prohibition. He’s a bit too big for me to wrap my mind around. His ways are mysterious and, at times, mystifying.

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!” Paul writes at the end of Romans 11. “How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” (Romans 11:33-36, NIV)

That’s our great God. Wise beyond our wildest imaginations. Perfect in judgment. Always right and pure in motive. I do not know all there is to know about him, but I believe one of the reasons he tells fathers to avoid frustrating their children is this: a child’s view of God is shaped by how his human father acts toward him. Kids imagine that if their dad is overly demanding and cruel, that God the Father must be the same. Nothing could be farther from the truth, but feelings, more often than not, overpower truth and kids end up believing lies.

I hate that. Wish it wasn’t the way things work. But there’s no getting around it. Even as adults there are many, many people still clinging to lies about God, lies they started believing when their dad mistreated them. The devil continually brings these things to mind. He puts God in the “bad” box and people rebel or run away from this cruel taskmaster. Only problem is, God is neither bad nor cruel. He is good and kind. But the lies prevail and people live in bondage.

Dads, you shape your kids’ view of God. Ask your Father in heaven for help every day. God will help. He loves you and your kids. He sent his son to die for all of you.

Note to kids: If your dad pulls the Amazon question on you, the answer is 80 inches. On average, it rains 200 days each year in the Amazon basin. In the northern regions, there have been years in which twenty feet of rain has fallen, but the average for the region is 80 inches per year. (Source: WikiAnswers)

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