CIA Agents Already Know This Stuff

Note to self: You cannot operate a computer's fingerprint scanner with gloves on. Trust me on this one. I've tried it. No dice! Duly noted.

I Don't Give a Dime!

Note to self: A dime does not equal $305. I dropped a ten-centy under my car the other day. I couldn't find it, so I decided to back the car out. While I was in reverse, I was looking out my windshield for the dime instead of watching my mirrors to make sure they cleared the garage door. Sudden cracking sounds alerted me to the breaking of the driver's side mirror casing. I got the bill today. Duly noted.

Advertizing Alert!

Note to self: Be careful how you share your opinion about a product you love on social networks that don't allow advertizing! I got a warning today from one of my favorite sites after someone complained about a comment I added to their post that they thought smacked of spam. Oops! Apologies to all! Duly noted.

There's a Fly in My...

Note to self: It is good to aspire to do great things. It is NOT good to aspirate a gnat or any other bug for that matter. I hate it when I'm riding down the street and an insect goes all suicidal on me. Couldn't they pick someone else's airway to end it all? Duly noted.

Dasturdly Duo

Note to self: Some foods were not meant to be combined. Skittles and M&Ms for instance. Separately, they are delicious. Mixed together in the mouth? Awful! I learned this while learning to administer medications during my EMS transition class. Duly noted.

A Brief Note

Note to self: Never agree to head up a product review for men's undergarments. Let me briefly explain why? The offline (and online) conversation between male reviewers quickly deteriorates into junior high locker room humor full of puns and euphemisms. It's a package deal. Duly noted.

Drinks to Avoid

Note to self: Caffeinated drinks are not the only kind you should avoid late at night. If you drink a quart of Gatorade in less than an hour right before you go to bed, you are NOT going to sleep for long. You will have to...ummm...get up to see a man about a horse. You might even have to go back and check the horse out more than once during the night. Duly Noted.

Only One Day Off

Note to self: Double check, no make that triple check your schedule. A friend of mine showed up for a funeral a mere 24 hours late because he thought the email he got from the pastor said Friday at 10. It didn't. It read Thursday at 10. Oops! Duly noted.

Prayers God Will Answer

Note to self: Think about what you're saying when you pray. I had a friend who wasn't a believer who prayed, "God, if you want me to go to church, work things out so I can!" If God wants you to be a part of his church?! Do you think he's going to say no?! I can almost hear a divine snicker at that one. Duly noted.

Choosing a Therapist

Note to self: Choose your therapist carefully. I got unsolicited relational advice from a friend last night. He assured me I was in charge of my marriage and my wife should do what I say regardless. I am glad he's a car salesman and not my counselor. Duly Noted.

Take the Scenic Route

Note to self: Take the scenic route every time you have the chance. You never know the really sweet jumps you might miss if you don't. I got "like three feet of air" on the way home after eating lunch with Mr. G. Duly noted.

Breakers Are Stupid

Note to self: Always try resetting a popped circuit breaker more than once before calling someone. You will look and feel stupid when your "friend" shows up and resets it with no problem. Leave the breaker alone for a little while and then try resetting it. Duly noted.

Those Drugs Work

Note to self: Keep taking your medications even if you don't think they're doing much. I've been off my ADHD meds for a week or so now because of a health insurance snafu which renders them way too expensive. I can tell I'm slipping back into some of my more annoying habits. Duly noted.

Thanks Is Always in Order

Note to self: Be lavish when giving out thanks. The people around you do great things. They seldom are recognized for them. Tell those who surround you how much their kind actions mean to you. Just blogged about a friend and how he helped me adjust to a new town. Sent him a link. Wanted him to know how I felt. Duly noted.

Overalls Make the Man

Note to self: Buy overalls when you retire. If you wear a dusty pair and a grease-stained trucking company cap, you can dispense unsolicited advice with impunity to younger people while standing in line at Wal-Mart. They'll even give you that nervous "there's an old person talking to me" smile at no extra charge. Duly noted.

A Hill to Die On

Note to self: Never say to a cyclist stronger than you, "Hey! Let's paceline up that hill south of of the lake! My legs are feeling pretty good." The hill is longer than you remember it being and no matter how good your legs feel, your friend will thrash them. Duly noted.