Love and respect...

I love my wife. I hope that doesn’t come as a surprise to any of you. I mean for my actions toward Susan to speak that truth loudly to all who observe my life. I try to make my passion for her obvious to her and to everyone else. I want the world – that includes all of you – to know that I am completely satisfied with Susan Lynell Neifert. I have her and she has me and that is enough. I am absolutely content. There is a ‘Do not disturb’ sign hanging on my heart. I am not interested at all in any other woman’s affections. Adultery, neither physical nor emotional, is in the least bit appealing to me. I am loved and respected by the only woman whose love and respect matter to me.

Love and respect from your husband, from your wife. Those two things are important aren’t they? Love and respect create harmony, banish fear, promote peace, build trust, fuel desire, bond hearts. No marriage can flourish without love. No relationship can thrive without respect.

I’m not saying that survival isn’t possible. But survival, especially the grinding, I’m-stuck-with-this-guy-or-gal-till-death-do-us-part hanging on, is not all we want or need.

We want joy. We need shared burdens. We want intimacy. We need companionship. We want laughter. We need security.

Sadly, where love and respect are lacking, those wants and needs are seldom met. The resulting starvation weakens the resolve of the strongest man to work things out, withers the desire of the godliest of women to please her mate. Some wedding vows are broken because, in the days and months and years following the ‘I dos,’ love dies, respect vanishes. Some of you have experienced that breaking apart. I grieve with you. I wish things could have been different for you.

Can I go back to my relationship with Susan for a second? I believe that if my wife suddenly changed, if she stopped loving me, started disrespecting me, made my life miserable I would have the courage and strength to stick it out. In my heart, I am committed to her. My will is set on loving her no matter what. Though we did not use traditional vows in our wedding, I plan to hang with her in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer. But without love, without respect, my resolve would be, I’m sure, tested. God would have to help me. I could not do it on my own. May he grant me all that I need to love Susan for a lifetime. May he grant you all you need for your marriage too.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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