A daily dose of "good" sense...

A friend sent me a few bits of advice that are, if you really think about them, they make sense in a sick sort of way...

• Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
• For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
• A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

Don't know where these came from originally, but they sound like Red Green to me. Where's the duct tape?