not my day

as far as biking was concerned, today was not my day. it started out alright. i woke around 7:20. a quick peek outside revealed a cloudless morning. my weatherbug said it was 44 degrees and a bit windy. this is kansas after all. it's windy all the time. so i geared up for what i thought was going to be a half century on the anthony-harper loop.

i got out the door before 8:00 and headed south. i figured i'd get the headwind out of the way early in the ride, so i could enjoy the tailwind later. i rode out of town and over the chikaskia river bridges. soon i was climbing tracy hill. just before reaching the top of the hill, i felt that sickening thump, thump, thump that signals a flat. i stopped quickly and pushed on the rear tire. it was flatter than flat. i pulled out my spare tube and was about to begin the painful process of changing it out when a friend, a lady from my church, pulled up. she was on her way to town and wondered if i'd like a lift.

since i much prefer changing flats in the garage, i took her up on the offer. i popped the front wheel off the bike and tried to load the frame into the car. a trek 2.1 does not fit in the back seat of a subaru. i tried, but it wouldn't go. so we decided to hide the bike in the ditch. we tried one spot, but it was too obvious, so we moved it higher up over the lip of the ditch into the wheat field beyond. there was a bit of tall grass there and the bike was visible only from a few spots and then only if you were looking for it. satisfied that it would be there when i returned, i jumped in for the ride to town.

after i was dropped off at the house, i immediately started up our van and made the four-mile journey back to my bike. when i got to where i thought it was, i stopped and climbed up into the field. it wasn't right there, so i walked the ditch in both directions. no bike! i felt panic rising in my heart. could someone have stolen it?

i searched high and low. still no bike. so i returned to my van and drove to the top of the hill scanning the ditch and field the entire way. i did not see my bike. i snapped open my cell phone and called home. "has anyone stopped by with my bike?" i asked when my wife answered.

"no," she said.

"then i think it's been stolen," i said.

"no way!"

"it's not here."

so i drove back to town quickly and called 911. the kind dispatcher at the other end took down my info and promised a deputy would get in contact with me. i thought someone would come by in a car, so i ran to the convenience store to ask the clerk there to be on the look out for my bike. you never know, i thought, a bike thief might make a quick stop for some chips or a candy bar. that done, i returned home.

turns out, sheriff's deputies don't drop in. they call. i'd missed the call. so i dialed 911 again and told the still kind dispatcher that i was back and ready for a call. while i was awaiting the call back, i used my cell phone to call the farmers who lived near where i'd left my bike. three calls later - one went to the answering machine - i was still empty handed.

then the sumner county deputy rang. we talked for awhile. i gave him a detailed description of the bike - color, make, quirky things only i would know and the all important serial number. after giving my name, address, phone and driver's license numbers to the officer, we hung up. i made a quick call to the friend who'd picked me up. i'd given her name to the deputy and i didn't want her to get a call from the sheriff's office without a heads up. she was pretty shook up when she we hung up. her son-in-law is an avid cyclist too. she knew how much riding meant to someone like me.

i called 911 again. could they please make sure argonia's chief knew about this? i wanted all my bases covered. they assured me she would be notified.

i was restless after i hung up, so i decided to go out and look again. in a few short minutes later, i was approaching tracy hill from the north. at the top i saw a car driving slowly along the road. i wondered if they'd seen something, but was sure they were too far up the road. i stopped again where i knew i'd left the bike and began walking through the tall weeds. the car at the hilltop turned around and headed my way. as the car approached i recognized the subaru. it was my friend again. she'd been so upset that she'd decided to go out and look herself. she told me she'd found the bike.

"really?!?!" i asked. "where?"

"up toward the top of the hill. i'll show you."

so she turned around while i ran back to my car. i couldn't believe it. i'd driven all the way to the top of the hill earlier and seen nothing. i followed the silver subaru slowly past where i'd looked before. i hadn't thought i'd been this far along the road when i flatted. then, there it was. the glint of chrome in the grass. i stopped and ran to my bike. i pulled it out of the weeds and walked it to the back of my van. my friend turned around and drove back to me.

"i missed it that time," she said. (it was really well hidden.) we said our goodbyes and i turned back toward argonia.

back in town, i immediately called 911 to report the recovery of "stolen" property. i explained that a friend had found it and i had it back. they thanked me for calling back (fourth time) and the line went dead. i made a few more calls. i had to let the farmers i'd called earlier know that they didn't need to look any further for the bike.

the calling done, i headed to the garage. i had a flat to fix. i coaxed the tire off the rim and replaced the flattened tube with a new one. i was anxious to get out on the road again, so i aired it up and slipped it back into the dropouts, spun the tire to make sure it was secure and straight and headed out on the highway. three miles later, i had another flat. (did i mention this was not my day?)

i dug my cell phone out of my coat pocket and called home. my very patient wife promised to come get me as soon as she was done ironing her shirt. she did actually come get me. i loaded my bike up again and we returned home.

any sane person would have, at this point, given up. not me. i'm not sane. i tore into the rear wheel again and, this time, checked it over very carefully. something had to be causing the tire to blow. a few seconds into the search, i found the culprit. a very small, very thin, very sharp piece of metal wire was stuck in the tire. i took the tire in the house and removed the offending object with tweezers from the bathroom, then returned to the garage. i finished the repair and once again wheeled the bike down the driveway.

the craziness was over. or so i thought. i rode to harper and back, a considerably shorter distance than i had planned earlier in the day, but with the two shorter rides, it added up to a decent distance for the day, 39.32 miles. the wind was again a factor, so my speed was just 15.5mph.

when i pulled into the garage at the end of ride, i let out a big sigh of relief. i'd made it back in one piece and evil dog had not seen me going either way. (i was sure he'd see me with the way things had been going.)

i recorded my miles in my log, reported briefly on my ride and went to take a shower. that's when the last bit of pain was administered. reaching down to pull of my left shoe cover, my finger pressed itself into a very sharp sticker when i'd picked up sometime earlier in the day. it hurt like the dickens! i shook it off and finished undressing. then i realized i hadn't picked up the sticker. i searched for it and when i found it moved it to the trash can. i figured if i hadn't done that i'd have embedded it in my foot after i stepped out of the shower.

so there you have it. i flatted twice and "stole" my own bike today. i hope monday's ride is much more uneventful. (39.32 miles @ 15.5mph)