A few years back, my wife and I were put in a rather difficult situation when the insurance trust we were a part of collapsed because of fraud just after we found out Susan was pregnant with our youngest.
You understand, don’t you, that there isn’t an insurance company in the world who will offer coverage to an expectant mother. They won’t cover her husband either, because if they did, they’d have to pay out on the baby after it was born. So we were suddenly without the safety net we had come to trust. We had to scramble to make sure the medical expenses we knew we would incur over the next nine months would not put us in the poor house.
Thankfully, we were able to enroll in a State of Indiana program that covered us for this time period and a little beyond. It was expensive, very expensive, but it was definitely better than nothing. The way things turned out in the end, we are extremely grateful that this option was available to us.
Our daughter’s pre-natal care and delivery were anything, but normal. She wasn’t growing in utero. She had to be induced early. Her lungs were not fully developed when she was delivered, so she was transported 80 miles to a children’s hospital in Indianapolis. She spent eight days in neo-natal intensive care there before we could bring her home.
If you’ve ever received a hospital bill in the mail, you know this kind of care wasn’t cheap. Tens of thousands of dollars were billed to us. If we wouldn’t have been under the state plan, we’d have had to file for bankruptcy.
Now I have a confession to make. I was really angry with the guy who put us in this bind. I was angry for a long time. He had added undue stress to our lives. He had created a situation we shouldn’t have had to face. And he was a church man, a member of the same denomination I belong to! My grandparents, my dad’s mom and dad, had known his family for years. I’d heard his last name all my life. It had always been spoken kindly. Now I wanted to spit nails whenever I heard it.
I have forgiven this man. Every once in awhile I wish I could talk with him and tell him what he put me and my family through, but I have no animosity at all toward him any more. I’m thankful for that. It is to God’s credit that he rescued me from the bitterness that could’ve destroyed my heart.
Perhaps some of you, as I was telling my story, thought of a similar narrative that played itself out in your own life. I’m sure I’m not the only person to have had fraud perpetrated against them, to have been robbed of peace of mind, to have been wronged in some way.
Maybe a neighbor stole something from your farm or your business. Maybe a friend’s unkind and untrue words damaged your reputation. Maybe a family member cheated you out of your rightful inheritance. I don’t know what you’ve faced in the past, nor what you may be facing now. Maybe my story has set you to seething about a current event. Maybe you want to jump up out of your seat and go set that cheat straight right now. Maybe you’ve been thinking about suing her socks off.
Before you do anything rash, let me talk to you about what God asks you and me to do in response to being aggrieved or victimized.
Paul has something to say about his matter at the beginning of the sixth chapter of 1 Corinthians. He’s been talking in chapter five about a pretty crazy situation in the church and reprimanding the church for not dealing with it properly. They’ve been ignoring sin and Paul tells them to get with it and judge rightly. In that context, Paul says this about lawsuits among believers.
“If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!
“Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother goes to law against another – and this in front of unbelievers!” (1 Corinthians 6:1-6, NIV)
Can we start with what’s really clear here? If I have a problem with a fellow believer, I am not allowed by God to take him to public court. A civil lawsuit among brothers is not an option. It is not right.
“But what if the other guy doesn’t make things right?” you ask. We’ll talk about that in another post. For now, all we can say is that lawsuits are out of order in the church.
Why are they out of order? Because people filled with the Spirit of God are competent to judge such matters. Why take matters to a pagan magistrate who may or may not have the Holy Spirit in him? Will he come to the right conclusion? Will you find resolution?
It is possible that a godless judge could execute justice, but then what good would that do? When his ruling is handed down, you and your brother are not reconciled. You are simply even and even is such a puny goal. Why aim so low? You can have peace if you will listen to God. You can enjoy a restored relationship if you will trust the church to help you work out your differences.
Look around you the next time you’re at church. There are some wise and godly people who worship with you, aren’t there? I would trust any number of the people I go to church with to help me work things out with a friend who’s done me wrong. In fact, I’m not sure that I wouldn’t trust every believer there to help me end a dispute.
What about you? Do you believe that another follower of Jesus is the better choice to go to when you hit a rough spot in a relationship? If not, perhaps you need to ask God to teach you to trust his Spirit’s ability to work in and through those children of his who around you. You know he can work in and through you. Why not extend that assumption to your brother or sister in Christ? Are they less filled with the Holy Spirit than you? Be careful lest your arrogance lead you to folly.
Even those men of little account in the church – not sure how Paul would define that – are able to make right judgments if they are trusting God to guide their decisions. You will get a better resolution if you seek the least of your brothers than you will in any court room anywhere in the land.
In no way am I demeaning the justice system or the fine people who serve as judges, but this is the truth. I don’t know about you, but I would rather have a godly person listening to my case and to my opponent’s, than to have any unrepentant man or woman judging between us.
So we’ve concluded so far that when disputes arise, God’s plan is for reconciliation and judgment to take place in house. This allows for his Spirit to bring glory to God through the peace that follows. Resolution is what we’re after, right? Whether you’re the offended or the offender that ought to be your aim. It is God’s goal. So go after peace. Seek it with all you’ve got. Aim to end matters quickly.
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