I almost put it in...

Today during lunch, I grabbed a leftover chicken tender and began gnawing on it while I pulled out all the ingredients for a PBJ. Chomp! There's the peanut butter. Chew! There's the raspberry jam. Nosh! There's the bread.

By the time I had all the components of a good PBJ on the counter and a knife located to spread the P and J on the bread, I was down to about two bites of pre-processed chicken stuff. I took a bite and proceeded to untwist the twisty tie thing that holds the bread sack closed. While I did this I kept an eye on the last bite of fried goodness.

I pulled out two pieces of bread then spun the bread sack to close it. Next I took the twisty tie and nearly put it in my mouth. What!?!? Remember how I said I was eying the last bite of breaded bird? As I looked at it, I decided to eat the last bite, but it wasn't in my hand. Instead, in my grip was a yellow plastic covered wire. That's what I moved mouthward.

I'm thinking about starting a list of things I've almost put in my mouth, but that probably would get gross really quickly. So I won't.

When I was a kid, I'm told, I actually put a spider in my yapper. My mom saw me do it and bravely pulled the hapless creature out. I guess the arachnid goes on another list. Things that have been in my mouth, but not swallowed.