creative riding

i thought i would use kurt vonneygut's rules for creative writing to share with you the mayhem that was my ride today. (i found his rules at melanconent.com/lib/rev/bagombosnuffbox/creativewriting.html)

1. use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

reading this report of my morning cylcing workout will take you much less time than it took me to ride it. i was on the road for 2:26'07" beginning at 4:50. i rode to mayfield and back before stopping for breakfast. i went out again post-meal and did an out and back to milan. my breakfast fueled 12 miles brought my average speed up to 15.6mph. oops! time's awasting. i'd better move on.

2. give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

i hope you will root for me and not for the cold temps or the wind. it was 29 degrees when i first went out and 27 when i got back from that first trip out and back. by the time my second ride was finished it was back up to 29 and i was sweating. the wind was a decent chap and didn't fight me too much this morning and only brought the "feels like" temperature down five or six degrees, but don't cheer for him or hill blow me off the road tomorrow.

3. every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

i wanted warmth. i dressed in as many layers as i could put on without having to creep back into my bedroom and raid the closet there. i also wanted to get more miles than steve s., my mileage goal throwdown nemesis. he got a flat at just under 15 miles this morning. i tried to cry. really i did.

4. every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

steve is a whiner. his character is revealed in the way he complains about having to call the "team car" to get him when his tire flats and he has failed to carry a spare tube or patch kit. poor steve!

5. start as close to the end as possible.

since my route was a simple out and back today, i started exactly where i ended. how's that for creative riding!

6. be a sadist. no matter [how] sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them - in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

an evil gnome attacked me at mile sixteen. a dog bit my leg at mile twenty-one. i nearly feel through the grates on the bridge at mile thirty-four. i made all that up, of course. now you see what i'm made of - crazy stuff!

7. write to please just one person. if you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

cough, cough! i think i'm coming down with something. hope i'm not catching. hate to spread a virus all over dailymile!

8. give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. to heck with suspense. readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

so finish it yourself! (37.98miles @ 15.6mph)